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10.15.2010

aren't we supposed to?

something that has been weighing on my mind these days is a bit hard to explain.  since mom has been sick - ok, REALLY sick -  this year, we have been taking care of her.

i've heard on many occasions  -- "you're such a great daughter"or they say to my mom "you raised such good daughters". i'm not upset with the phrases, by any means.  it's nice to be acknowledged.  but what it makes me wonder is -- "aren't we supposed to?"

aren't we supposed to take care of our parents? 
aren't we supposed to take care of our family?
aren't we supposed to take care of the stranger?

i guess it comes natural to me --and maybe those who tell my mom that she raised us right have a point.  there are those who don't take care of others -- or even their own parents or family.  i had a casual conversation with the hospice social worker.  she told me that our family is one of the "good" ones.  she has seen many families who fight and argue about care for their loved one.  families who's adult children come to the house as a house guest and want to be "served".  families who ship the loved ones off so as to not have to deal with them.  i guess you'll never know what you'll do until you need to do it.  but to some of those people i ask "aren't we supposed to take care of our own?".

i guess it must be in my genes.  one of the things my mother tells me as i'm helping her to get dressed is " i was hoping you wouldn't have to do this".  my mom's mother was very sick, and my mom took care of her, much like we are taking care of her.  she told me she always hoped her daughters wouldn't have to take care of her like she had to take care of her mom. 

so -- it does come natural.  it is in my genes.  and i'm so very thankful that i have those genes!