good deeds ---

i don't get it --- i try to do nice things for people, including strangers, but lately i've noticed people are resistant.

yesterday - amongst the icky-ness of the bad day, i  tried to do good.

there is a store - maybe you've heard of it,  aldi's.  it's a low cost, grocery store - it sells store brand items at low prices.  to keep cost down the grocery carts are connected  together with a chain.  you deposit a quarter in the slot and your cart is released.  when you return it and lock it back in - your quarter is returned.

i stopped to pick up a few things yesterday --- BTW, i LOVE the house dressing they have.  mmmmm -- i could drink it!  ok, not really, but it is really good. anyway- i stopped to pick up a few things ---

yesterday was not the first time this has happened mind you --- but, after i loaded my groceries in the car and headed back to the corral to take my cart back -- an older man was headed towards the cart area to get a cart.  i offered him mine.  he waved me off and continued on quarter in hand. 

there was a disabled woman headed to the corral, and i again offered my cart.  this time she took it and held the quarter out to me.  i said to her " no, you keep it,.  have a nice day."

"no, no, no" she said "you take it." pressing it into my hand.  "you'll need it next time."

i took it, and thanked her and went on my way.

this hasn't always been the norm -- although it's usually the way things go - it frustrates me.  i mean really, it's just a quarter - i really do try to do nice things.

but like i said this isn't always the case.

years ago i stopped at the aldi's store in binghamton.  i remember having a lot on my mind.  and on the drive to binghamton for a doctor's appointment, there was a familiar smell in my car.  the windows were up, and the vents weren't even on - so it wasn't coming from the outside.  i realized it was the scent of my grandfather's cigar.  i loved that smell.  it startled me a bit -- my grandfather had died many years before, and he had been on my mind alot.  the scent disappeared in a few minutes.

i went to the appointment, and then stopped for some stuff at aldi's.  i loaded the groceries in the car, and noticed the woman next to me who had just pulled in.  i offered her my cart, and she took it.  she immediately went searching in her bag - i said "don't worry about it, just return the favor one day."

i got in my car, and to my surprise she opened the passenger side door.  as you can imagine i was startled.  she held her closed hand out to me and said "here."

i tried to assure her it was just a quarter, i wasn't worried about it- but she insisted i take it.  she opened her hand over mine -- it was not a quarter, but a small angel pin on a card.

i looked up at her and she said to me - and i remember it like it was yesterday.  " i carry these around in my bag for people like you, for people who offer a little kindness and a smile to someone.  i only have one left, it must have been waiting for you."

i thanked her, and she said to me "you look like you have a lot on your mind.  the answers are in your heart, you know that.  i'm sure you have someone  very special in heaven looking out for you, and they love you very much."

wow.

she closed my door, and headed off to the store -- i watched her walk away in my rear view mirror.

that day sticks with me -- i believe my grandfather was in that car with me for awhile that morning, and this woman carried a message to me.

so -- some days you are the doer and others you are the receiver.  sometimes you start off being one and you end up being the other.

i think as a whole society we all need to work on both being the doer - random acts of kindness, and more importantly we need to work on being the receiver.  people don't know what to do when some one does something nice for them.

have a good day --- look out for ways you can offer some kindness.  and if someone offers you  a quarter -- just take it! ;)

an awful day ---

sigh -- ever just have "one of those days"? 

i did -- today.  i blame it all on the thunderstorm that woke me up early this morning -- because it all goes down hill from there ---

first - paul called from work.  he needed dry clothes - he got caught in the downpour of the thunderstorm.  so -- i took clothes up to him.  while waiting for him to come out to get them -- a former co-worker saw me in the car, and came over to say hi. 

that wouldn't be odd --- except i have been having trouble with the drivers window in my car - it has a mind of it's own.  some days it works fine, others it won't go down -- other it won't go up once down.  i hadn't made an appointment to fix it yet.

so -- he comes over to the car -- i lightly touch the window button, and remembered it was broken - so i opened the door -- and a few minutes later the window went half way down on it's own --- and wouldn't go back up.  keep in mind -- raining, off and on.

so -- what to do.  i had a dentist appointment for an adjustment at 10:30 -- so i called the mechanic, and they could take a look at it at 1.

so -- i drove all the way to scranton -- in the occasional rain with the window half open.  i got to the dentist, and put plastic over it so the rain wouldn't get the seat wet.

at the dentist --- what i thought would be a quick trip turned out to be 2 hours.  long story short -- fixed the problem, but now have a whole new problem.  sigh ---they worked, re-worked, and got it sort of fixed.  it's all because of healing and the new shape of my mouth - so not a bad thing, but not what i was planning on for today.

so -- while i was waiting for the stuff to set --- i texted my sister, who was in the area to not wait for me for lunch.  her husband came home yesterday from afghanistan/germany, and they were going to get some groceries, so i was going to meet them for lunch.  that wasn't in the stars for today.

by the time we got things figured out at the dentist it was a just enough time to get up to the mechanic about the window.  i get in the car, and try the button for the heck of it -- window goes up.  sigh.  i had played with that damn button all the way down.  sigh.

so -- get to the mechanics --- they need to order a part, and i have to go back on monday.  meanwhile -- the car is sitting in the parking lot, and one of the girls goes out to get a soda -- and freaks out.  she walked past my car --- a bird, flew into the grill of my car - getting it's head stuck and dying.  sigh ---- what else could go wrong today.  thankfully one of the guys got it out for me.

so -- then i head back to scranton -- i had a whole list of errands i needed to do.

grabbed some lunch on he way through -- while eating i realized that my top dentures were now rubbing badly in the back -- sigh.  so after a few trips to stores, i called the office to see if i could stop by before i drove the hour home -- no problem.  so i went back to the dentist before i went for groceries.

she fixed it all up -- and good to go --- well sort of.  now because of all the work and healing, my bite is off.  i have to decide if i want to live with it until next month when she'll start the permanent teeth process --- or if i want her to re-make a temporary bottom.  sigh ---

so -- then off to go grocery shopping --- as i pull into the parking space -- the sky opens up and downpours - thunder, lightening.  sigh.  so i sat in the car and waited for a break.

by the time groceries were bought -- i'd had enough.  i quit.  and headed home.  i got home 11 hours after i left for the day.  sigh.

there is that old adage about getting up on the wrong side of the bed.  well -- i got up on the normal side this morning.  i wonder what would have happened if i got up on the other.  sigh ----

so, off to bed -- time to put this awful day behind me.  night everyone . . .

smile update!

i just realized i haven't updated in awhile about how things are going with my new smile! ;)  it's been about 3 1/2 months.

here is an updated photo:

things are going well!  the trips to the dentist are few and far between now, things get easier to eat every day -- there are still a few things that are tricky, but we're gaining.  the sore spots are pretty much gone.  i've been having to use adhesive in the temporary plates to hold them in place -- the doc tells me that when we get the new ones i won't have the problem.

things are going great!

for those of you "just tuning in", you can follow the story here.  you can go back a few posts, and forward some to get more of the story.

thanks for checking in!

here comes fear again ---

i've been noticing a common thread running through the fabric of my life --- fear.  i've worked through lots of it -- but there is still some sticking around.

my newest -- well, it's hard to put a handle on it -- or a name.  is it the fear of failure, or fear of success?  i ran across this qute the other day -- it hs stuck with me, it rings true for me today:

We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed.

well -- once again, i've faced it head on.  for months i've talked about opening an etsy shop - for months i've put it off.  i've done the research, made phone calls, got a mentor, and thought it all out -- but, i haven't put the plans in motion --- that is until recently.

last week i went to see a CPA, and figured out exactly what it is i need to do.  today, i filed a form to collect sales tax , and tomorrow i head to the county clerk's office to file a "doing business as" certificate.  then -- it's set up a bank account, a pay pal account, set up a store front, build some inventory and hit the ground running.

will i get everything right, well i hope so, but probably not.  but, i'm so excited.  it's time to get this ball rolling -- i won't know if i can do it  until i try it -- another quote i found today:

fears are temporary - regrets are forever.

so -- here is to living with no regrets!  i'll keep you posted as to when the shop is up and running.  i'm shooting for July 1st. 

with God's help things will turn out just the way they should!

the parable of the waterbug and the dragonfly --

when my mom died, my sister was trying to figure out how to explain it all to my nephew; he was 4 at the time.  she found a story book about water bugs and dragonflies -- since she has a love for dragonflies she bought it.  the book is very well written and i love how it explains to concept of death, heaven, and why we can't return.  the story has stuck with me.  a very good friend lost her mom over this past weekend.  i thought of the dragonfly story as i sat at the funeral today.  i found the story online, and shared it with her, and i'll share it with you.  i'm not sure of the author. . .

-The Story of the Dragonfly-

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

"Look!" said one of the water bugs to another. "One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?" Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. "That's funny!" said one water bug to another. "Wasn't she happy here?" asked a second water bug. "Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. "I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why." "We promise," they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: "The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why."

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. "I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if  I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went."  And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.