here comes fear again ---

i've been noticing a common thread running through the fabric of my life --- fear.  i've worked through lots of it -- but there is still some sticking around.

my newest -- well, it's hard to put a handle on it -- or a name.  is it the fear of failure, or fear of success?  i ran across this qute the other day -- it hs stuck with me, it rings true for me today:

We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed.

well -- once again, i've faced it head on.  for months i've talked about opening an etsy shop - for months i've put it off.  i've done the research, made phone calls, got a mentor, and thought it all out -- but, i haven't put the plans in motion --- that is until recently.

last week i went to see a CPA, and figured out exactly what it is i need to do.  today, i filed a form to collect sales tax , and tomorrow i head to the county clerk's office to file a "doing business as" certificate.  then -- it's set up a bank account, a pay pal account, set up a store front, build some inventory and hit the ground running.

will i get everything right, well i hope so, but probably not.  but, i'm so excited.  it's time to get this ball rolling -- i won't know if i can do it  until i try it -- another quote i found today:

fears are temporary - regrets are forever.

so -- here is to living with no regrets!  i'll keep you posted as to when the shop is up and running.  i'm shooting for July 1st. 

with God's help things will turn out just the way they should!

hate to admit it . . .

. . .but i'm starting to get used to the dentist chair.  i no longer get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about a mile or so before the office or the heart palpitations as i'm sitting in "the chair" waiting.

i do have to admit though -- today i was a little nervous.  the dental facility i've been going to is a "chain" sort of thing "aspen dental", and sometimes if they don't have an open appointment and you need an adjustment they have you just walk -in.  i've done that a couple of times.  the problem with this is you get whichever dentist has time to see you .  well, it just so happens that i've gotten "the other guy" the times i went.  i don't like him.  he is always in a hurry, and doesn't listen to what you need, and doesn't help the situation.  just a few days ago i 'walked-in' with 3 sore spots.  and i left with 2.  i guess it's good i had one less, but still.  he argued with me when i told him it still hurt - telling me to give it some time and it will clear up.  sigh.  it didn't.  it got even worse.  the sore spot turned painful - within 24-hours.  so.  i went back today - with an appointment, and an uneasy feeling -- what if my dentist wasn't there and he walked in, what if she was really busy and he was helping out (this happened once before).  i had made up my mind i didn't care how long i had to wait i was going to see the woman i started out with.

she walked in the room - "how are you today?"  "much better seeing you" i tell her.  i briefly explained my difficulty just a few days ago with the other guy -- and where the problems still were.  she smiled and laughed a bit and set to work.  in a matter of minutes the problems were gone - did i mention i love her! we had a good laugh over one of the "arguments" i had with him -- i knew i was right, but she confirmed it - and rolled her eyes over the guys un-professionalism.  i asked her how i could be sure that i didn't have to see anyone but her.  she told me not to worry, he wouldn't be back.  he was "on loan" from another office, and they had some complaints. 

a sense of relief rushed over me.  i had worked so hard to not be anxious about dental visits, and this man was starting to get things creeping back in to my psyche.

God still loves me -- hehe, and all is right with the world again.

things are progressing nicely.  eating and talking are all improving.  and i'm not so swollen.  i'll have to take some new pictures.  tomorrow marks 3 weeks!  feeling and looking better everyday!